Release shame & embrace your curiosity
Not everyone knows this about me but I’m totally at ease with everything about shame and taboo which is very often in the realm of sexuality and intimacy. So I can learn people to become friends with it and with themselves as well. I am an invitation to come with your deepest secrets, shame, pain, grief, etc. to transform this into ease, openness, and joy.
It hasn’t been always easy to fully celebrate my special and unique gifts but my clients who I prefer to call ‘students’ keep telling me how much they benefit from this ease, this making everything and everyone normal and beautiful at the same time.
I offer somatic sexological education and coaching. My name for it is 'Sexual Discovery'. It is a combination of deep tissue bodywork, breathwork, sexological bodywork, consent lessons, sex education, deep soul work, emdr, dancing, crying, voice work, laughing, and celebrating. Besides this, there’s a special ‘Arati color, smell, taste and touch’ which makes you feel at home immediately. My clients call it openness and being directly mixed with humor and compassion. For me, it’s just who I am.
You might wonder about my experience when you read this……well, I come from a family in which loving touch, empathy, and compassion weren’t important. They simply didn’t exist, and this was also the case with openness around sexuality. Seeking for love and attention with no clue about love and intimacy I enrolled in all kinds of sexual abusive situations. My way of protecting my inner self was dissociating from my body. Something a lot of women know. Till my 45th I lived like this, even during my marriage. Like in a lot of relationships my cramped sexual behavior became a big problem for myself and my partner. My deep wish to stay connected with my partner made me curious and craving for an answer to what was wrong with me (of course ). So in 2006, I started on my path in consciousness development as a student of my teacher Yoyo. Since then I have been captivated by discovering the inner beauty in myself and every other person, through every manifestation. This made me decide to start to work with people, their bodies, and their souls in my practice. During this period till nowadays I always kept on mirroring myself in every issue, my clients came up with, which resulted in a lot of personal breakthroughs.
With pain, wonder and enthusiasm I went through processes like 'No more fun in my relationship', 'No more fun in sex', 'Help I have breast cancer', 'My husband makes love to another woman', 'How can be I free with a family? " Do I still count? ". I have developed a willingness and curiosity to look inside and investigate everything that touches me. Sometimes this is painful and confrontational, but it also resolves to limiting beliefs, resulting in greater relaxation.
Next to this for years, many clients came to my practice with sexuality issues when I only offered deep tissue massage and coaching. There was more to learn for me and I wanted that so dearly because I suffered myself so much around my sexuality and I never had someone to go to because it didn't exist yet.
So even though I was already a certified postural integration practitioner, a Transformational breath coach & trainer, a Ritual Play trainer and a women’s coach, I decided to become a somatic sexological coach and trainer, to be able to dive into this amazing interesting topic and of course, to heal myself on this surface and help my clients.
Sexuality is about the life energy that makes us flow and live. You also can say ‘everything in life is sexual energy’ and when there’s something stuck in life it has everything to do with our sexuality and sexual energy. The outcome of diving into this matter with me is what clients tell me about it: they discover an immense feeling of freedom, flow, and joy in their own (also erotic) body, mind, and in their relationships and friendships. What I love most about my clients who discovered themselves and their ‘new’ sexuality is, that they started to flower: authentic, unique, and beautiful.
Which of course, has always been there!
It's all about remembering. Like it happened to me. For years I felt ashamed for the fact that I mix sayings into hilarious jokes (and still hitting a point!) or speaking an amazing not understandable language when I’m exhausted ór in an ecstatic sexual encounter.
Finally, I can see it as something special and love myself for it.
I wish the same for you and, I can't wait to uncover your sometimes hidden talents!
Flowering en Gardener with Yoyo van der Kooi, Centrum voor Levenskunst. Training focussed on the art of living and inner changing processes.
Encountertraining at Humaniversity, Egmond aan Zee. Powerful training about being honest in encounters and letting go emotionally.
Training Deep Tissue practioner at Centrum voor Levenskunst. Also known as Postural Integration or Myofascial Energetic Release (MER).
The Wheel of Consent with Betty Martin, training about consent within relations.
The Wheel of Consent for Lovers with Matthias Schwenteck and Robyn Dalzen.
Sexological Bodywork and Somatic Sex Coach opleiding (international) with Uma Ayelet en Deej Juventin in Byron Bay and Berlijn.
Ritual Play facilitator training with Marina Kronkvist.
EMDR practioner (still in training) with Floor Slagter